Arista Wins Top Workplaces AwardWritten by Paula Birney Certified Dementia Practitioner.
If you have a loved one living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, the holidays can be a difficult time of year. Family traditions may be different than they once were. But there are many ways you can both still enjoy this special time together.
Whether you’re a dedicated care partner or hosting a guest who lives with dementia, these tips will help make the holiday season a little easier.
Keep it simple, smaller and shorter
From the decorations to the number of people and loud music all this can be overwhelming for your loved one with dementia. Decide what traditions are most important and focus on those few. Spend time with people who are respectful of your loved one’s condition. Letting your relatives and friends know about your loved one’s dementia diagnosis is important, especially if their dementia has progressed since their last visit. A personal phone call or family letter explaining your loved one’s situation can help set family members’ expectations. Be honest about your loved one’s abilities and prepare family members. Let guests know how to communicate and interact with your loved one. For example, your loved one may no longer be comfortable with hugging.
Make your home as safe and accessible as possible
Hosting a guest with dementia may require you to do some adjustment to your environment. In combination with some of the challenges of aging, dementia can affect how a person perceives their surroundings, such as depth perception and balance, so area rugs, low furniture, and stairs without handrails can pose a risk. Clear pathways, no open fires or candles, no plastic fruits that appear edible. Clutter can be confusing. For more information on adjusting your home, visit the National Institute for Aging’s home safety checklist.
Include your loved one in the preparation and planning if possible
Just because your loved one has dementia doesn’t mean their desire to connect and enjoy the holidays goes away. Keep them involved with simple dementia-friendly activities. Simple tasks like tidying up before gatherings, setting the table, decorating or making easy holiday arts and crafts are a great way to connect with your loved one. They may also enjoy cooking simple recipes, viewing Christmas lights together or listening to their favorite holiday music.
Schedule downtime into the holiday
There is so much going on that can be overwhelming and overstimulating. Perhaps your event is shorter with less guests. Try to be patient with your loved one — and yourself. As a care partner or family member, it’s normal to feel sad, tired or frustrated. Take a deep breath and take a break when needed.
Maintain a routine
Holidays and travel can really throw off routines such as mealtimes, bath time, naps and toileting. It may take several days after to recover from a break in the routine.
Make the holiday inclusive
If your loved one has difficulty with name recollection, or if you’ll be having some new faces at this year’s gathering, having name tags can be helpful. Write in bold, clear letters and introduce family members as they arrive. You don’t want people playing the name guessing game with your loved one. You might even consider keeping a family photo album on hand to help them remember and reminisce. If playing games, make sure your loved one can be involved and not feel singled out, using large print and simple instructions.
If you’re a care partner for someone with dementia you might feel obligated to do it all yourself. As you prep for the holidays, with shopping, cooking, decorating or cleaning, don’t feel guilty about asking for help with caring for your loved one. Ask a trusted friend or family member to spend a few hours with them, or look into local options for adult care or respite care. Follow these tips, and with a little extra patience and care, you can turn the holidays into an opportunity to bond with your loved one.
